HEADLINE:
Easy with sharp objects there, D'Artanian.

BODYCOPY:
Every grill man knows pointy utensils of any kind must never go near a brat.
Only tongs can preserve the savory flavor within each Johnsonville. One false
move and somebody could be on their way to the burn unit. You've heard the
saying "you can poke an eye out." Well, you can burn one too. And let's face it,
wearing an eye patch without the hook hand to go along with it, is just plain weird.